The Conflict Between Father and Son

We are going back to China in the end of August. I miss my family members, my parents, husband and my son. My son will go to Florida University to continue his two-year postgraduate program in August. So when he arrives at JFK, New York, I will travel in the West of US. Maybe we will not meet each other for another year. This summer we met in New York and spent four days together. He is rather Americanized and enjoys the American food and lives the American style of life. His English is pretty good now. As we traveled in New York and Washington DC, he arranged everything, from hotel booking, travelling route, meals. He can take care of all in details and I feel I am the happiest mother in the world.

When my son went back to China early this month, he and his father will live under the same roof for over a month. Busy with his work, my husband seldom takes rest in the summer vacation. He complained to me today that the boy has so many shortcomings in his eyes. The flat is in a great mess and he doesn't bother to clean. He has no plan for his study and not well-organized in doing the routine work, etc. I believe the parents in the world will always worry about the growth of their children. Shall the parents be all time fault-finding? Or shall we be alert to their merits and give them praise and compliments in their trifle progress? Easier said than done.

Yes, the Chinese parents often consider their children as their private property, not an individual, with their own ideas, their choice of life style in the world. To be wise and understanding parents, we must give them the freedom to be independent both physically and individually.